Episode 3 Part 2: How Not To Get Away With Scamming
Chris: [00:00:00] Hey, it's Chris. This is the second part of a two part episode on scams. If you haven't listened to part one, stop right now, go back into your feet and listen to the first part of this episode. Probably bottles of wine and enjoy.
So, continuing with that theme of scam, I recently started to get into cause because I [00:01:00] just happen to love trash reality TV, 90 day fiance. Well, first of all, I started with love after lockup, which. If
Nancy: [00:01:09] you want to talk about VR of trash television,
Chris: [00:01:12] if you want to talk about trash TV, that really is the absolute bottom of the barrel.
, how they even get people to agree to go on this show and that's shorter, but that show is about people who date people who were in prison, and then you watch the process of they, how they get out and how the relationship works. now that they have to be together on the outside.
Or
Nancy: [00:01:32] doesn't work,
Chris: [00:01:33] right? . but that then led me to, once I watched all of those episodes 90 day fiance, which is about the, so I don't know if you guys know this, but when you are trying to get married to someone who is a foreign national, you have to apply for what's called the K one visa and that visa.
, they have to apply for it, I think before they even come here. So you're doing it at the American embassy or [00:02:00] whatever place you're in. and essentially you go in and they ask you all these questions and you have to show them evidence that you guys have been together for all this time and pictures and texts.
And. You have to have not committed any crimes and blah, blah, blah. And, the visa, once you get, it allows you to come into the United States for 90 days and you have to have legally married an American citizen within those 90 days. Or you have to get sent back to whatever country you're coming from. So that's what 90 day fiance is following people during that 90 days.
And then the, it leads up to ultimately whether they actually do get married at the end of the 90 days or not. Some of them do some of them don't. so the whole concept of the show really is kind of a scam because. You as you're watching it. [00:03:00] some of these people, they find their fiance through Hey, I was vacationing in Jamaica and I met this guy on the beach and then we still stayed in touch when I went back and blah, blah, blah.
And so it was more of an organic thing, but a lot of them are just yeah, I'm a Twitch streamer. And I live in my mom's basement and I met. Irina Slutskaya online and that's critic I'm over and be my fiance. And so it's some of them really feel just straight up mail order bride situations.
it's they don't speak English. It's these old, fat guys who are going to bringing over women that are they just turned 18, last week and they're from a poor country where they don't have any money. And so their family is excited about them being able to go to the U S and so mind here,
Nancy: [00:03:55] though, the best part is that some of the people that come over , these mail [00:04:00] order bride types, they are not.
They're not good actresses, they'll say flat out, yeah, if you didn't have money, I'd bounce. That's what makes it so amazing. Cause they're not even committed to the fantasy for 90 days.
Chris: [00:04:14] Well, my thing is, that's why I don't have sympathy for some of these colleagues because I'm because what happens is that very few of them actually are wealthy.
Most of them are just normal everyday people. But I don't feel bad for these guys who are essentially being used for their money, because you knew that , some of them not only know that the women are coming over because of their money, but they explicitly mislead them to think that they're living this high life and, Oh, I'm going to buy you this.
I'm going to buy you that I'm going to take care of you and blah, blah, blah. And then the girls get here and you live in a studio apartment with a roommate and you drive a hope D for 1997.
Nancy: [00:04:58] let's be real those [00:05:00] relationships.
They're both using each other. The women are using the men because they want money and status and to get out of their country and the men are using the women because. They want to shoot it somewhere warm once in a while. So they're both using each other.
Chris: [00:05:14] Well, that's the thing. That's right. But that's what I'm saying.
That's why I don't feel bad for them. But, there are some cases that are more obvious of okay, this is clearly an arrangement, but there's other ones where it's more ambiguous where it's, it. It's more the person has deluded themselves into thinking that they. That it's that the person actually loves them when it's clear that they don't and all their friends and family are Chaz, this is she's clearly just coming over here for a green card.
What are you doing? And he's no, we're really in love. And you don't know where bro, you don't know. Yeah. And, there's one. On the, season that I'm watching and I'm not entirely [00:06:00] caught up. I don't know what season the show is on now, but I think I'm on season six and there's this, guy, I think his name is Colt and he's this overweight, Guy who plays video games and he lives with his mother and they have a joint bank account and they have 12 cats.
They live in Las Vegas and he met this Brazilian woman. Who's obviously way out of his league and I think two weeks of the amount of time they spend together total because he went to visit her.
he proposed to her and. before he brings her over, he has as this, I think a cousin of his who's actually his cousin and the cousin's wife were actually normal insane, and they tried to give him advice and they're so how do you know that you're in love with her?
what do you about her? And he was well, when I got off the plane and I saw her turned around and it was She was moving in [00:07:00] slow motion and it was out of a movie and I just knew, and it was huh. So you're basically just saying you her because she looks good.
Nancy: [00:07:10] She's the one guys she texts back.
Chris: [00:07:12] Okay. If that's the case, if you are fine with just, okay. She's essentially a high class escort then. Yeah. and you're fine with that then. So be it. But it's the It's that illumination. Yeah. It's that deluding yourself into thinking that this is a real genuine relationship that kills me because it's just look at you, look at her.
Why else do you think that she would want to come here and be with you? Unless it was for either a green card or for money? it just, it doesn't definitely add up.
But, so most of the cases are similar to that where, you're watching it, trying to figure out for yourself, is this real, or is this a [00:08:00] cam green card situation? and sometimes you realize, maybe they are kind of genuine. And then sometimes yeah, this is obviously a sham.
so there is this woman from, I think season three, named Markia and she was on Facebook in a group for plus size women or something. And she met this guy named LOA. Who told her, that he told her certain story of who he was.
And once she started talking to him and investigating, she realized that he basically realized her, but everything. so I'm going to play a clip, From that right now.
Nancy: [00:08:47] And we just really mesh well together, both kind of adventurous, outgoing, funny. He's just a really fun
Chris: [00:08:55] person.
Nancy: [00:08:56] And at that time he told me he was a [00:09:00] Nigerian Prince
He also told me he was living in Alabama. He had a son and that his son's mother had passed away.
Chris: [00:09:13] And I started
Nancy: [00:09:14] to feel a little suspicious. So I went into inspector
Chris: [00:09:18] gadget mode
Nancy: [00:09:20] or found some really big lies.
Chris: [00:09:24] I found
Nancy: [00:09:25] out that he had
Chris: [00:09:26] another social media profile.
Nancy: [00:09:30] That I see a picture of a woman
Chris: [00:09:32] with his son.
This was his son's mother
Nancy: [00:09:36] very much
Chris: [00:09:37] alive and not
Nancy: [00:09:38] dead. I reached out to her and she told me that lo was in Vietnam,
Chris: [00:09:44] studying business. And that is when I
Nancy: [00:09:48] realized that I've been
Chris: [00:09:49] catfished.
Nancy: [00:09:55] it was really pictures of him. So I wouldn't call it cat fishing. He just [00:10:00] straight up lied to your ass. That's I don't think that's catfishing.
Chris: [00:10:04] Well, that goes back to what I was asking about one of our other episodes where I was it's hold on. I just gotta pour another thing of wine on this mess.
Nancy: [00:10:13] Hold on. I'll join you. Here we go. Here we go.
Chris: [00:10:22] Here we go. So fishing,
Nancy: [00:10:25] when it's in relation to appearance, not what zip code or country are you currently in,
Chris: [00:10:31] but he lied to her basically about everything.
Nancy: [00:10:34] Yeah. Men are trash moving on.
Chris: [00:10:38] if you're he basically, he said, she, he said he was a Nigerian Prince. That was a lie. He said that he lived in Alabama.
That was a lie. He said that he, his child's mother, his ex was dead.
Nancy: [00:10:51] I tell people my X's are dead.
Chris: [00:10:55] Yeah. But it's different when it's an ex who's actually the mother of your child. [00:11:00] Who's still living.
Nancy: [00:11:01] but those were his pictures,
Chris: [00:11:03] right? That's
true.
Nancy: [00:11:04] I just think he's just a big ass liar.
I wouldn't associate the term cat fishing.
Chris: [00:11:09] Yeah. So believe it or not in the spirit of 90 day fiance, after finding out that he lied about everything, she forgave him and still continue to date him. Which just blows my fucking mind because it's just did you ever, listen to dirty John, the podcast that it's the same thing with dirty John, as good of a podcast, as it was in terms of how it was crafted.
I lost interest after the third episode, when the woman basically found out that he lied to her about everything, he lied to her about. But who he was and his background. And, he even lied about where he was going to work every day. he said, he was an anesthesiologist and he wasn't she had to follow him to work, to find out that he wasn't [00:12:00] and then after all of that, she still continued to hating him.
And I'm how, what, how I can
Nancy: [00:12:07] tell you how there are some very desperate women out there. Who will put up with pretty much anything, instead of being alone,
Chris: [00:12:17] I just can't. I get being desperate attempt to lower your standards, but it's another thing to me when the person is literally lying to you about who they actually are, because then to me then this isn't even a real relationship because I don't even know who I'm dating.
I don't know. Who you really are. I don't know. Even if now you're completely telling me the truth. by a vibrator, to me, it's there's no
Nancy: [00:12:46] a vibrator can't spoon you at night. I can't bring you flowers. Can't ask you how your day was. Well, the really expensive ones probably can.
Yeah, I [00:13:00] don't. I don't get it either. It's it's the same thing to me. when you see women that stay with men where it's he fucking cheated on me again, girl, why are you hanging around? What more evidence do you need? what better reason to just cut the shit and just get out
Chris: [00:13:20] well, on the most, on the season that I am on right now.
There's a woman who, she's a white woman. she's very attractive. I think she's in her late twenties. maybe she's 30 and she met this guy who's younger. he's 20. And she met when she, right? Yeah. First red flag. but she met him when she was vacationing. In Jamaica, he's from Kingston, Jamaica, and she kept in touch with them after she came back and they kept dating and now he just came over and they're getting [00:14:00] married and I'm look, I get, if you you go on vacation, you're in Jamaica or the Dominican Republic.
And you're pulling some how Stella got her groove back type shit. But That's just have a flame, just have him lay down the da and have a good time on the beach and then
Nancy: [00:14:19] keep him leave his ass on the Island. He is not invited back. He served his purpose. What a great holiday that was, leave his ass on the Island.
Chris: [00:14:32] But, To think that this person is a, is an appropriate yeah. Partner to get married. I just don't know, understand. and they, the guy is a human huge, player. He's both him and his father are known in Kingston, Jamaica for having a thousand girlfriends and just sleeping with the different woman every night.
And just being there, big Playboy and all this other stuff. And she knows that. And. [00:15:00] She has this friend, her best friend who, I don't know how she found out, but somehow through a third party, she found out that the guy was with other girls while, they were apart. And essentially not even essentially, she literally straight up says.
To her friend. I don't care if Jesus came down now and told me that he cheated on him, I wouldn't care. That's literally
Nancy: [00:15:28] what we'll enjoy getting fitted for that clown mask bitch.
Chris: [00:15:34] And I'm I don't, I just can't understand that level of burying your head in the sand.
Nancy: [00:15:39] I don't get it either. I don't understand it at all. I,
Chris: [00:15:43] having, having an open relationship then if you don't think your partner is going to be faithful and you're okay with it, but the idea of you just being yeah. He's he knows that we're supposed to be together, but he's cheating and I don't care.
Huh?
Nancy: [00:15:57] Nope. Nope. well, and [00:16:00] I wonder how much of you. how much do you think it's playing it up for the camera? Or that's legit their personality of the chick saying Jesus could come down and tell me he's cheating and I wouldn't care. do you really is that a real person? That can't be real.
Chris: [00:16:16] if it weren't real, I wouldn't want to humiliate myself like that on television. Yeah. You know what I mean? why would you want to, why would you want to make yourself look that stupid? Unless it was real
Nancy: [00:16:27] well, and now we know the amount of stupid people out there when I see shit about not taking away map, looking rat time where no, God masks. So yeah. That's you're right. Stupid people have bound. What was I thinking?
Chris: [00:16:41] I'm curious. I'm, I want to look back and see if there's any 90 day fiance, people who after the fact, any of the American ones were like, Oh yeah, I know.
I realized that I was scammed and they divorced me after two years and now. They got their green card and just [00:17:00] bounced.
Nancy: [00:17:01] I feel worse about the people that come over and the ones that they're marrying can't obtain the visa. So they have to be sponsored by parents and then they're on the hook for them for 10 years.
Chris: [00:17:12] Oh, okay. Yeah. So that brings us to Nicole and Asan. Yeah. I love it.
Nancy: [00:17:18] Love it. My favorite.
Chris: [00:17:20] So Nicole is this young 20 something year old woman. She is very overweight. she's, socially awkward in my opinion.
Nancy: [00:17:32] and everyone else's opinion
Chris: [00:17:35] and her, everyone in her family seems to recognize that she's not.
she's an adult woman. She has a child, this daughter named Mae, who I think is three or four. And everyone seems to accept that she's an adult woman, but basically has the maturity of a teenager, a 14 year old. she's just delusional about everything
she met this guy as in [00:18:00] who's, who lives in Morocco. And here's a situation. That is a question of catfishing because, I don't know if he's had this on the show. maybe they did. I missed it, but somebody on Twitter told me that at some point, as in basically said that he felt that Nicole catfish Tim, because in all the time he had spoken to her over Skype and seeing pictures of her, she only showed her face.
And she would do it from angles that I guess, made him think that she was thin. And so
Nancy: [00:18:34] episode where they first meet in person, he even says how he was surprised to see how big she actually is. And then he started bringing up how she needed to work out.
Chris: [00:18:44] . But my thing is okay, so that was the very first time they met. They had been speaking for months on the internet before they met for the first time, which he can't come to the U S Scouts.
So , she's had to have visited him over in Morocco [00:19:00] and she goes to Morocco for the first time alone. And they're asking her do you know anything about Morocco? have you done any research? She's no. And I'm just how do you go to a place like Morocco? Or any, even I, the first time I went to Canada for the first time, I was Googling just, just general stuff that you're kind of curious about when you go to a place you don't know, especially if it's a foreign country,
Nancy: [00:19:25] Plus we've all seen taken, so there's that,
Chris: [00:19:29] but it, especially if you're going to a place Morocco that is so culturally different from the U S and it's so far away, how do you not, how do you not even just have the curiosity to be Oh, let me just on the 25 hour plane right here, do a quick Wikipedia.
Nancy: [00:19:46] Remember that part earlier, when you said she's a white woman that would explain that curiosity being lacking.
Chris: [00:19:52] I don't, I just don't understand. So anyway, she gets there and he's trying to tell her, we can't kiss in public. We can't hold [00:20:00] hands in public, in my country. we don't, that's not allowed if you're not married and she keeps giving him shit about it the entire time and basically making it seem like.
He doesn't want to, he's trying to avoid touching her because he doesn't want to be
Nancy: [00:20:15] well, to be fair, I feel like he doesn't like her and he didn't want
Chris: [00:20:19] right. he very well may have been using as an excuse because he really didn't want to touch her, but she keeps being a brat about it the entire time.
And he keeps trying to explain to her, you can't grab my hand. You can't do it. you're being disrespectful to my culture by doing this. And there was even a part where they, I think the first trip she took there, they stayed in a hotel while they, while she was there. And, I don't remember if they had to sleep in separate rooms or just separate beds, or I think they
Nancy: [00:20:48] did have separate rooms.
Chris: [00:20:50] Yeah. And she was all upset about that. And she was Oh, but I wanted to, she didn't say it, but in so many words, she wanted to have sex with him. Clearly.
Nancy: [00:20:58] She said cuddle. [00:21:00] She wanted to cut it off,
Chris: [00:21:01] please. Do you want me to get that back to her now? but he's like, you can't do this, that this isn't allowed here.
And it was, it's just I just can't understand as an adult person, not being able to understand this is a different country, this is a different culture. You can't just come here and just do whatever you want. The fact that she has, first of all, the black cause she has a child is terrifying to me.
It truly is because she is the dumbest person ever, on the face of the planet. And thank God she has grandparents in the picture that are saying and know that Nicole is a fucking idiot, but she, so she comes there for that one trip, which turned out to be a disaster. They get into all these fights and to me, when I watch it, I think, okay, this is a person who is clearly not going to be with her anymore.
Now that you've seen that she's not the size that he thought [00:22:00] and seeing that she's a pretty much trashed person and just everything, but then the reunion comes around and, he wasn't there in person, but he was there on Skype. And they basically were acting as though. Yeah, we're still together. We still talk, we still, this happened the other, and then in the subsequent season, they bring Nicole in as in back and she goes to Morocco again, but this time brings her daughter and she was there for three months, but she was there for a long time for the entirety of the season.
And, they actually stay in ASINs house this time. I think. And she meets all his family. And I have to say his family, all of whom didn't speak any English were so nice and sweet to her, despite the fact that she's a brat, but we treated her really well. And there was a scene where they were I think it was the first night that she got there maybe right.
The first night that she stayed with his family, his aunt had made this whole big, [00:23:00] feast for them. And she was acting like a. A little bratty three year old, got a restaurant she's wouldn't eat it. She was making all these faces. She was just so rude. And it was just it's painful to watch because they're completely so nice and graceful to her, despite the fact that she's a piece of shit
Nancy: [00:23:22] and they were so sweet to her
Chris: [00:23:24] daughter too.
Yeah. So
Nancy: [00:23:27] yeah, I remember the first season that she was on when she went to Morocco. She started pouting when they went out for lunch and was talking about how she wanted French fries and stuff. And he was well, I thought you said, you were going to try and eat better and have more vegetables.
And she's
Chris: [00:23:42] Yeah. It's girl, you're in Brocco and you're ordering French fries. what is the point in you going to it's going to fucking Italy and being like, Hey, do you guys have, chicken fingers? bitch?
Nancy: [00:23:59] Yeah. That's [00:24:00] going to Italy and asking where's olive garden,
Chris: [00:24:02] right?
Yeah.
Nancy: [00:24:03] What the hell are you doing?
Chris: [00:24:06] but I think it says something about the type of person she is that she clearly has no, respect or interest in learning another culture. This is somebody who, and I think, I forget which season it was, but her, I believe her mother or something, or her sister, one of her, somehow she had a family friend who lived in Morocco.
I'm a different part of it, but close enough where they could come to visit. And she had, she was an American who had married someone from there as well, I believe. And basically they went out to lunch and she gave her advice about the whole situation. And, she just about what, what it's coming from a different culture and marrying someone from Morocco and.
She clearly didn't take any of the advice to heart because she just has no respect or interest in learning anything about his [00:25:00] culture. And he says throughout the show that it's, he feels so disrespected by her that she seems to have put zero effort into trying to acclimate to his culture.
while she's over there and he's like, we can do this, that, and the other, when we're in America, but right now you're in Morocco. And so you can't just come over here and be a bull in a China shop, American, just doing what you want to do when you're in my country. So my thing is in the second season that they are in together, he didn't even show up for the finale.
it was pretty dramatic because every other spouse was there and he was supposed to dial in on Skype at a certain time when he never did. And all the producers are trying to contact him. He doesn't answer. Nicole tries to contact him. He has an answer. And her mother, I think, was there with her on both reunions.
And the mother basically just spends every reunion, reading her own daughter to fill. Quite [00:26:00] frankly, she's Nicole's naive, she's stupid. And she makes all the wrong decisions and she, and then they reveal in this season, in the second season, reunion, the mother basically spills the T that all this time she's been sending us and all this money.
And, actually I think as I may have mentioned it briefly at some point during the season,
Nancy: [00:26:22] yeah, that Nicole is quote unquote helping him out.
Chris: [00:26:25] Right. because at this whole time I'm thinking we're two seasons in this guy clearly is not attracted to her. He clearly doesn't really enjoy spending time with her.
So why does he keep. This up. And so starting to make sense. Once I started talking about the fact that Nicole keeps sending him money, and I think I'm the host, I'm forget who is the host of the reunions? I think it may be Shawn Robinson from access Hollywood. There's a woman, who's the Andy Cohen of the reunions.
And she basically straight up asked Nicole at some point what's the total amount of money that you've sent [00:27:00] him. And the mother goes to try to answer the question and Nicole, it shuts it down. She was no, stop. Stop. Can you just stop? And so it's clear that she's given him. this is not somebody who's a welder.
She's a freaking barista. Who's a single mother. And she has been sending, God knows how much money to this Jude and moron. Oh, for years, what. But, so I think as in scamming her, in my opinion, and he probably has some other girlfriend in Bronco that he doesn't, that she doesn't know about and all this other shit, but
Nancy: [00:27:36] maybe he thought that there would be some hot American woman that loves 90 day fiance and they would see him and slide into his DMS.
Maybe that's what he was hoping for.
Chris: [00:27:46] Yeah. I don't know, but they're apparently still together. Okay.
Nancy: [00:27:51] Sure. Jan,
Chris: [00:27:53] I literally just asked, my Twitter followers yesterday, when Nicole has instilled together and somebody was like, yeah, here's their Instagram. They [00:28:00] post pictures all the time. they're still together.
And I'm well,
Nancy: [00:28:03] if the checks are still making their way to, as in of course they are
Chris: [00:28:06] the Western unions.
Nancy: [00:28:10] If that wiretap to go
Chris: [00:28:11] through my thing is if I were her mother and maybe she probably has said it, but I would say stop sending him money altogether and see if he continues to be in contact with you.
And that
Nancy: [00:28:25] Tom, then how can he buy a phone card
Chris: [00:28:27] to call me? But see, this is another thing where it's it's almost in her mind, she knows that he's not really into her, but she is willing to accept it anyway, a thousand
Nancy: [00:28:40] percent.
Chris: [00:28:40] Yeah. but so that's going to be the fiance. it's if you're looking, especially you're in quarantine for just some mindless shit to watch that, is it, every episode is basically watching a train wreck.
Nancy: [00:28:54] 10 out of 10 would recommend.
Chris: [00:28:57] So if you're looking for that kind of television, it's [00:29:00] it airs on TLC.
There's I don't know how many seasons of eight or nine, but then there's also all these spinoffs of before that I need days after the 90 days, 90 days.
Nancy: [00:29:10] Right? Jay, is it?
Chris: [00:29:13] Yeah, because I think the show is a big hit for them, so they just try to milk it for all it's worth.
So, the, on the couch segment for this episode is going to be, also scam theme. And it's actually related to 90 day fiance stuff, because most of these people do meet their people online, but we're going to talk about online dating scams. And what the red flags are that people should be looking for when they start talking to someone or meet them.
I want to play, I really got, I'm, I've become kind of obsessed with scams and I've been listening to a lot of scam podcasts. there's one called swindle. That's really good. but each episode is a different scam, [00:30:00] it says podcast where he basically just narrates the whole story, but he talks he's.
I don't know, one of the fucking campfire kids. And are you afraid of the dark? it's just, it's kind of annoying, but be the content of the show is really good. but then there's also this other one that ACRP does called, bitch.
Nancy: [00:30:21] you did not just say there's a good one. A R P did.
Chris: [00:30:25] Yes, it actually is. it's a, well, because here's the thing. Yeah. It's called the perfect scam. So I guess a ERP, they decided to sponsor it
Nancy: [00:30:34] because all their people are getting fucking scammed at these boomers. God dammit. Are we that old already that we're listening to ARP podcasts,
Chris: [00:30:43] but really good podcast.
If you're interested in hearing about scams and actually some of the scammer, I would say most of the people on there who are scanners are not really elderly, but it's just,
Nancy: [00:30:54] I'll give it a one.
Chris: [00:30:55] it's really good. But, so one of the cohosts is [00:31:00] actually Frank Avondale, who is the guy who the movie catch me if you can.
he was the Leonardo DiCaprio character in real life. And, so after all of that stuff and he went to prison and yada, he. That went to go work for the FBI and still works for them as a consultant, to help them, figure out all these scams.
And so he's on each episode giving his commentary and helping people to avoid the scams. So there's a lot of, not every episode is as good as the last, you can go through the descriptions and read them and see which ones you find. Interesting. but one of my favorite ones was called the hikers trail of lies.
It's actually a two part episode. and it was about this woman who her name is Melissa. And she met this guy named Jeff online, or actually, man, I knew he, it may not have even been an online. It may have been in the days when they were still doing the [00:32:00] phone chat lines.
Nancy: [00:32:03] The party line.
Chris: [00:32:04] Yeah. Yeah. but she, either way, she ended up talking to him and she, it was one of those things where, when they first talked on the phone, they were on the phone for two days straight, just talking and kind of know each other and finishing each other's sentences.
And it was just, they couldn't stop. And so, at some point he ends up telling her. That, the, I guess he's, he just recently moved to this town and he's looking for a permanent apartment, but at the time he was staying in an Airbnb or something, or, he was staying in, he was subletting a room in some people's house and it was a couple and they were arguing all the time.
And, so he was saying, I got to go stay at a hotel for a couple of nights or something because this is driving me crazy. And, this woman, Melissa, who, by the way, has children, I think two children, two minor children. She says, Oh, why don't you come stay in my house? [00:33:00] Big mistake.
Nancy: [00:33:02] Huge
Chris: [00:33:05] so this woman, Melissa, she says, Oh, why don't you come and stay with us? for those couple of nights, rather than come out of pocket to stay at this hotel.
Now, mind you, the plan was him to just stay there a couple of nights. While he, found, another place to go. but this is somebody who she literally doesn't know from a hole in the ground, aside from their phone conversations. So I'm going to play a little clip from the podcast where she explains how she came to realize that this online data.
Does the day that he's supposed to pay me back. And he had told me he would pay me for all the gas going to the casino. he had borrowed 200, but he was going to give me 300 back. And so he
borrowed my car to go to the
bank.
Nancy: [00:33:57] And about
Chris: [00:33:58] 30 minutes later, he messages [00:34:00] and says, we have a problem. And I'm like, what's the problem?
And he said that. The
Nancy: [00:34:04] Colorado
Chris: [00:34:05] branch of his bank
Nancy: [00:34:06] would not
Chris: [00:34:07] issue him a new
Nancy: [00:34:08] debit card. He was going to have to go to Denver to get the debit card.
Chris: [00:34:12] And he was can I use your car to go to Denver?
Nancy: [00:34:14] And I was like, I don't know. how long has, how long are you going to take? He's like, I'll be, I'm going to go up there and I'll be right back.
I should be
Chris: [00:34:20] back by noon. You like this guy enough? He's been around that there are zero red flags,
Nancy: [00:34:27] red flags.
Chris: [00:34:28] and it, I noticed it as soon as he said it, when we were at the casino, he was talking to another guy we
Nancy: [00:34:34] were playing. I don't remember what we were playing,
Chris: [00:34:36] but, a
Nancy: [00:34:37] blackjack and
Chris: [00:34:38] there was another
Nancy: [00:34:39] guy at the table and they were talking about Alaska.
Chris: [00:34:41] Cause the other guy
Nancy: [00:34:42] had spent some time in Alaska
Chris: [00:34:44] and Jeff made a comment about his mom and he said, my mom is in you. It, and. That struck
Nancy: [00:34:52] me because my mother has been dead at the time, had been dead for about 12 years.
Chris: [00:34:56] And I would have never said she is in you. It, I would have said [00:35:00] she was okay. Anyway, I thought to myself, that's awesome.
Why would he use his mother in the present tense if she's dead. But then I was like, you know, everybody deals with things differently.
Nancy: [00:35:08] that
Chris: [00:35:09] was how I explained it. Like maybe to him,
Nancy: [00:35:11] I
Chris: [00:35:11] don't know
Nancy: [00:35:12] that, but
Chris: [00:35:12] that was the. Only red flag that I had. So he goes off to Denver, to the bank, supposedly, and your car.
He said that he needed
Nancy: [00:35:21] gas for the car to go to Denver.
Chris: [00:35:22] So he asked me if he could use one of the credit cards
Nancy: [00:35:26] in my car
Chris: [00:35:27] to get gas.
Nancy: [00:35:28] And I said, what
Chris: [00:35:28] credit card? And he was there's two credit cards here.
Nancy: [00:35:31] And he described
Chris: [00:35:31] them to me. And one of them was my credit card and
Nancy: [00:35:34] the other one was my bank card.
And I was
Chris: [00:35:36] how are those in the car? And he's I don't know, they're just here. So again, I gave him the benefit of the doubt and I told him that he could use one of the cards. But in your mind, at this point, he's going off to Denver. Yes. He's going off to Denver.
So Jeff has down the road and Melissa's car with her bank cards telling her he'll be back later then. And then at two o'clock he messages [00:36:00] me and says, Oh my gosh, traffic is terrible. I just got here. And I was okay, well, hurry up. We can get
Nancy: [00:36:06] back. I need my car and he's like, no
Chris: [00:36:07] problem. And then I didn't hear from him again.
Nancy: [00:36:10] And I started getting really nervous
Chris: [00:36:11] and about five o'clock. I said, I was messaging him and around five o'clock he messages back and says, chill out. I'm in the parking lot. And I was what parking lot? And he said the bank parking lot. And I was like in Denver. And he said, yes.
And I said, I need my car and I need my car right now. And then that
Nancy: [00:36:30] was the last
Chris: [00:36:30] thing I heard from him. And so finally at about eight o'clock that night, I called
Nancy: [00:36:35] the police and I
Chris: [00:36:35] reported it.
Nancy: [00:36:40] I can't
what do you mean? That's my bank card and my credit card. What to doing in the car? Oh no, it's just in here that I immediately would have shut those cards off. No, Nope.
Chris: [00:36:51] Nope. Nope. Keep in mind, this is somebody who she had been talking to maybe for a couple of weeks prior to this point [00:37:00] that she invited to come live in her home, albeit temporarily with her two young daughters and this guy, first of all, it should be a fucking red flag to anybody who's dating, whether it's online or otherwise, if.
Within the first couple of weeks, they're asking you for money period. Even if it's just 20 bucks. I wouldn't, I would just never, ever feel comfortable asking somebody that I barely knew for money.
Nancy: [00:37:37] I don't feel comfortable asking people. I've known all my life
Chris: [00:37:39] from me. Exactly. So like
Nancy: [00:37:43] longterm relationships and I've never once asked for money.
That's Nope,
Chris: [00:37:48] no. So that should have been your first fucking red flag when he, and I guess he gave her some story about how, Oh, I'm waiting for my check to clear or blah, blah, blah. Okay. Well, I [00:38:00] guess you got to wait for that motherfucking check to clear bitch because I have, I'm a single mom. I have two kids. I can't afford to be. Loaning money out to people that I barely know. sorry, so she agrees to, loan him this initial $100, then it turns into 200, then.
He says he needs to borrow her car to go. I don't know exactly where she lives, how far it is from Denver, but seems the way that they told the story, it seemed it was a long distance, at least an hour or two. And so you have this guy who. First of all, you know, good and damn well, those bank cards were not in your dash and that, or in your glove compartment.
And he fucking stole that shit when he was in your house and put it in there. So he could, miss accidentally stumble across it while he was, driving, [00:39:00] but because who the fuck leaves their bank card in their credit card, in their, glove compartment.
Nancy: [00:39:07] No one, not a single person in life does that.
Chris: [00:39:11] So here's this guy who still hasn't paid you back to $200 that you loaned him. He took your car to God knows where, and it's now 48 hours later. He was supposed to bring your ship back the same day, bitch.
Nancy: [00:39:30] She should've just told his ass to go down the block and check out a Hertz
Chris: [00:39:35] or rent a car. Well, he wouldn't have to borrow more money from her in order to do that.
Nancy: [00:39:40] He can go sing on the corner or something, no guitar. So not for fucking problem. There's all the money that he supposedly had to keep staying at that Airbnb even longer, if he would have cut his stay short, he would have gotten some money back. So none of his tracks,
Chris: [00:39:55] I would be I suggest you log in to the internet and open and only [00:40:00] fans.
Nancy: [00:40:03] Make sure you get people on the month tier to sign up,
Chris: [00:40:08] start showing some Dick or something because I'm not giving you any money. and then to let him take your car and then once he's there I mean, it's not, like he said, it sounded he took the debit card and credit card without her permission.
He called her and asked her and she gave him permission to use her damn. Debit card and a credit card dispute the charges. Well, I don't know. You can just view charges that you authorized is the thing, if you give somebody your card and tell them they're allowed to make purchases, that's not an illegal transaction.
Nancy: [00:40:45] Well, but then doesn't it become? He said, she said, cause she could just say no, I never told him that he could use it.
Chris: [00:40:52] Yeah. But if you're disputing a transaction, You're it's your burden to prove that you owe,
Nancy: [00:40:59] what to [00:41:00] tell you shit,
Chris: [00:41:02] prove that this wasn't you. So, so here she is, she's finally decided, okay, this guy clearly is not who he says he is, and I need to call the police, which apparently she only realized after her friends told her to, and the police are like, Girl, this isn't a stolen car.
You gave him the keys. I think you gave him the keys. You told him that he could drive to the bank. but the fact that he's actually texting back and forth with the police saying, I told bitch, I was bringing back her car tomorrow. Where are you bothering me? I do remember that she did end up getting her car back eventually,
Nancy: [00:41:47] from the fucking impound, the, probably with a homeless dude that had lived in it for a week and shit all over the bed.
Chris: [00:41:55] I think three weeks went by before she actually got the car back. Oh
Nancy: [00:41:59] my God.
[00:42:00] Chris: [00:41:59] Yeah. he, because it was just, it kept being one thing after another road was Oh, I just, I stopped off to stay at a hotel for thing. Cause the drive was too long and like
Nancy: [00:42:09] that should go for three weeks.
No, I'm sorry. Hey, my big ass cousin, Bubba. He's letting me his truck send me her address. I'm on my way.
Chris: [00:42:17] Well, no, I think the police were at that point looking for him and looking for the car, but, they couldn't find, they're their best bet in getting the car back was. Getting him to agree to bring it back, as opposed to them finding it, in their own ways, which eventually they would obviously find him, but it would be quicker if he would agree to bring it back.
So I think they were in contact with him throughout the whole time, trying to get him to voluntarily bring it back. I low
Nancy: [00:42:45] key hope he responded to some of those cops texts with chill out.
Chris: [00:42:51] Yeah. that's the part that I thought was hilarious. You're really telling somebody to chill out after you stole their goddamn car and
Nancy: [00:42:59] cards,
[00:43:00] Chris: [00:43:00] bank cards and everything else.
but, from what I can remember from when I listened to the podcast, knew it at this point, it was five months ago. I think. he had done this to a bunch of other people. he was just a serial con artist and had done this to so many other. women who, he would just go keep going from one scam to the next,
Nancy: [00:43:20] yeah.
Men can really only lock down. They're crazy for about three months, max. So,
Chris: [00:43:24] well, the thing is that, if you listen to the way she told the story, he was very smart to do little things at the beginning to gain her trust, , coming over with food and cooking dinner for her daughters or Volunteering can take her kid to the mall or when, see that part
Nancy: [00:43:40] creeped me out.
Well, maybe I'll drive him to the mall that way we can bond. all right. Let's pump the brakes a little bit. That's too fast. How many weeks was this? Get fucked? I
Chris: [00:43:51] can't single mom. She's in that mode of being desperate to find a father figure for her kids and
Nancy: [00:43:57] that have a nice neighbor. That's not,
[00:44:00] Chris: [00:44:00] it's hard dating when you're a single parent, because.
you have to make sure your kids like them and that they're willing to accept the fact that you have children because, and a lot of people don't. So I think it was in her mind, I think she was reading everything in the most Rosie .
Nancy: [00:44:17] Yeah.
Chris: [00:44:18] she was not, she was trying to see the best case scenario and everything, but.
Nancy: [00:44:25] Dumb,
Chris: [00:44:27] but, yeah. And then, so, she says there was a red flag about him having previously told her that his mom was dead, which I don't know if, I played that part of the clip, but he basically said that his parents had died in a car crash and. And then later he revealed that also his wife had died in a car crash as well.
And so he was a widower. So first of all,
Nancy: [00:44:53] in his five month old daughter, right? Yeah.
Chris: [00:44:56] But anytime anybody tells me that they have family that [00:45:00] died in a car crash, I'm just this sounds too lifetime movie or that we premiere premium. I don't buy it because
Nancy: [00:45:05] it's just died in a car crash.
Chris: [00:45:07] Yeah. But for somebody to say their entire family died in a car crash, that's not.
Something that happens every day. It's just, they would, just, to me, it would seem to, yeah, just too convenient that you don't have any family because they're all dead and they all died in the same car accident and she doesn't know. And then she says, Oh, she mentioned the red flag of him talking about his mother in the present tense when they were gambling.
but then also, There was the thing where she was getting the money out of the ATM, but he was making this big production of, Oh, let me turn around. So I don't look at your, pin number. We need
Nancy: [00:45:46] to look cause he was taking the cards less than a week later. So why would he need to look?
It's fine.
Chris: [00:45:51] He already
Nancy: [00:45:51] had it. He looked at different time. He already knew,
Chris: [00:45:56] but my thing is it's you see that they do these tiny little things. [00:46:00] telling you that their whole family died in the car crash to get sympathy or, just little stuff that makes themselves seem trustworthy.
what would you say if some, so let's say you have a. Or let's say, it's you, you're in a relationship right now, but you spent a lot of time in the online dating space. So if you're talking to a guy off of, plenty of fish, We're all
Nancy: [00:46:24] pleased to read.
Chris: [00:46:28] I just remembered.
That's where she met him. She met him off of plenty of this.
Nancy: [00:46:32] Of course, that's where she fucking met him. I think he's in their bylaws. You have to be on there to scam in order to sign up for a fucking account.
Chris: [00:46:40] girl, plenty of fucking fish. That should have been your first fucking clue.
That's
Nancy: [00:46:45] grocery shopping at fucking
Chris: [00:46:47] Aldi.
Nancy: [00:46:50] I don't
Chris: [00:46:51] play the fucking fish bitch. Come on. but so
Nancy: [00:46:54] give me a more respectable dating app please. And then I'll play along.
Chris: [00:46:58] Okay. Let's say it's [00:47:00] OkCupid, which is like one. Okay. Ever so slightly step up from plenty of Venice, but not much. Yeah.
Nancy: [00:47:08] I was on there for a minute.
Chris: [00:47:09] Continue. Yeah. So you start, talking to a guy. And, the, conversation's going well, you've been messaging back and forth. And for a couple of days we eventually move it to text message and he says he wants to meet up.
So what are the things that would alarm you if he said in the online conversations that would make you kind of wary of meeting up with him?
Nancy: [00:47:33] Should I just recite things that have been said to me, or
Chris: [00:47:36] should I sure. Why not?
Nancy: [00:47:39] I've literally, I literally had a guy we were talking back and forth and the conversation was going kind of well, and he was like, so like, I'd love to hang out sometime this week. Cause I had a very strict role of not giving out my phone number until I had met the person in real life, because I didn't having someone's phone number these days.
We're all Our phones are an extension of ourselves. So I wouldn't give [00:48:00] my phone number out until I had actually met the person who would just message on the app back
Chris: [00:48:04] then. I changed my ways. Eventually you would actually meet up with them. And at that point you still didn't have each other's phone numbers.
Nancy: [00:48:12] Correct. But only in public places crowded public places. Okay. but no, I had this guy say to me, yeah, I'd love to go out for a drink this week. And I was okay. Yeah. where are you thinking? And we threw out a couple of places, that were kind of in between a shove where the two of us live.
And he was Oh yeah, I love that place. And I was like, yeah, they have a really good beer selection. And he was like, yeah. so would you be able to pick me up? And I immediately was like, um,
Chris: [00:48:41] In between where you two live and you would have to drive us are completely out of your way to pick him up and then drive back the other director. That's
Nancy: [00:48:50] correct. I asked him, well, me being a moron, I was like, Oh, is your car in the [00:49:00] shop? And he was like, no, I have four DUIs. And I was like,
so, , you know, there's that?
that's, nothing but winners.
Chris: [00:49:09] Wait, what was your response when he said that? Unmatched? Oh, you said you didn't meet up with him? Fuck.
no. I didn't know how your standards were back then.
Nancy: [00:49:19] Ouch. We'd you just reading me for Phil? no, but I think, I had a certain checklist
Chris: [00:49:26] of things
Nancy: [00:49:27] that I was uncomfortable
Chris: [00:49:28] with the fact that he was so forthcoming.
Just be like, yeah, I got for you. . Like, if I, if it were me, I would have come up with, I would have been like, yeah. You're yeah. And here's my car, that's in the shop. and then you reveal the four DUIs, after the third or fourth date, but he was just right out with it. So, yeah.
Nancy: [00:49:43] Yeah. But also let's keep in mind.
If he would have said my car's in the shop, my response would have been well, thank God for Uber. Huh? get fucked. I'm not coming to pick you up. I did have a, for me, warning flags were, [00:50:00] proximity to divorce because a lot of the men and women on dating apps are fresh out of divorce and just looking for strange.
So there were literally times where I'd be talking to someone on the dating app. And I would always joke, there must be something wrong with my settings because fucking everyone that I matched with just got divorced, but there was one guy I matched with and he was Oh shit, you ever been married?
And I was like, ah, no, I'm very smart and lucky. So now, okay. I have not ever been married. And I said, have you? And he said, yeah. And I said, Oh, freshly divorced. And he said, Well, we're separated and Nope. I don't play any of that stuff. So proximity to divorce, I think is a major warning flag.
Chris: [00:50:42] but wouldn't you, it's better that he at least was honest with you about that, as opposed to telling you that he was divorced slash single, and then after you're already in it, then you find out that you've been made the other woman.
Nancy: [00:50:56] I've already had my heart broken before by a man fresh out of [00:51:00] divorce.
That was, yeah. So no, I learned that lesson the hard way. I'll never do it again. And that's on
tape. No, but I, I did date men that were fresh out of divorce where the papers were signed. It was good. And those relationships ended terribly because, and this could be a whole other episode, but I think once you go through a divorce, It's some real dark times.
And yeah, so I, I will never do that again. Not that soon after divorce, there is one guy I dated one of the best relationships I ever had who had been divorced a year and a half when I met him and we had a great relationship. So, but to me, the closer it is to the actual date, or if they're only separated, that's a warning flag.
If they don't have their own car, unless we're living in a, Obviously in a city then that kind of makes me weird. I think knowing their job is important, and yeah, for me, the biggest warning flag is how close are [00:52:00] they to divorce? How recent was it? And do they have their shit somewhat together?
Not that you have to have everything perfect and solid, but is your shit somewhat together?
Chris: [00:52:14] Right, but those are good things to think about as far as if someone's being genuine, but it's just not a good idea for you to get into a relationship with them. But, and but if someone were actually going into it, intentionally trying to scam you, what would.
I guess obviously asking him for money is a huge red flag, which luckily I've never had anyone do, but I don't know if you have either asking for money, I'm asking you to come live with you, which, I'm not going to spill your tea, but.
You've had a
Nancy: [00:52:59] feeding.
[00:53:00] Chris: [00:53:01] We've had a few who have come over to spend the night and then just didn't leave for awhile.
Nancy: [00:53:07] But you know, God bless the boys in blue sometimes. Cause you just call them up and they are here. Get
Chris: [00:53:12] them out. White woman in trouble.
but, Obviously, if they're being dodgy about details about their life, if you're asking them normal questions, Oh, where are you from?
And what school did you go to? Or what, where's your family live or you're asking them about their exes and they're giving you, they're not being forthcoming with the information. that's obviously a red flag. but I feel I don't know. I guess we all like to think we're pretty good at snipping out someone who's trying to scam us, but everybody who's been scanned probably thinks that, Yeah. Oh yeah. but luckily I've never, I mean, I've just had bad days. It's just days that didn't go well, they didn't go anywhere, but I've never had anyone where I was they were misleading or.
[00:54:00] They didn't turn out to be who they said they were or anything like that. So I've been lucky in that sense. but I don't know. I feel maybe this type of activity goes on a lot more restraint people because women probably are more susceptible to, being emotionally manipulated by guys who were giving themselves stories or because women have a natural, I think, inclination to want to like help people. , especially if you're in your thirties, forties, fifties, you're not a spring chicken anymore. And you may be are in your, you've had your first or second marriage, or maybe you've got some kids already, You're at a stage in your life when you just want to be settled down where you don't, you're not having fun being in the dating phase anymore.
And you just want to find that person and be in the relationship phase. And so you're twisting yourself into a pretzel to make it make sense. Even though it's like, girl, he doesn't have a job, he [00:55:00] doesn't have an apartment. He doesn't have his own car. what
Nancy: [00:55:05] cat and travel a lot.
That's the answer.
Chris: [00:55:08] Yeah. But, I watch judge Judy every day. Most of the cases on there, the most common cases are women who lent money to men that they were dating. And didn't get it back
Nancy: [00:55:21] shocking.
Chris: [00:55:24] And these dudes have no shame about it. they really don't and you, and every single one of them they've done it before to other women.
Nancy: [00:55:33] Well, if they were stupid enough to turn their money over. Yeah, of course these guys aren't ashamed about it.
Chris: [00:55:38] Well, I guess, I don't know.
Nancy: [00:55:41] Do you think they really care about looking a piece of shit? They don't.
Chris: [00:55:47] I that's what I that's what kills me is why you even would agree to come on national television and be exposed as a scammer.
Nancy: [00:55:57] I don't get it either,
Chris: [00:55:58] but [00:56:00] it happens all the time. And the worst one. it's one thing when it's just money, but the worst ones are the women who co-sign on cars and shit.
Nancy: [00:56:10] That's the dumbest shit. I bet.
Chris: [00:56:14] How could you be so stupid as Chicago sign? First of all, the fact that he needs a co-signer ended up itself tells you that he's not reliable with money because he has bad credit.
So that could have given yourself is a reason to not be a co-signer, but.
Nancy: [00:56:32] But that's when those sob stories come in real handy because his whole family died in a car accident and he had to pay for all the funeral services. So that's why he has bad credit now.
[00:57:00]